Proposition 08-01.

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Here is a piece of legislation that I think is very relevant and necessary for legislative bodies all over the world to enact..

P R E A M B L E

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Whereas, Valentine's Day and the days leading to it create an atmosphere and period of anxiety, loneliness, and, even sometimes, depression and pain among unattached, recently singled or perpetually single persons.

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Whereas, the State acknowledges its moral and legal duty to safeguard the health, welfare and enjoyment of every individual, not only those who are happily married or in a blissful relationship, whether legitimate or illegitimate, but equally of unattached, recently singled or perpetually single persons.

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Whereas, the State acknowledges the political, economic, commercial, social and moral contributions of unattached, recently singled or perpetually single persons.

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Whereas, in order to alleviate the anxiety, loneliness, depression or pain felt by unattached, recently singled or perpetually singled persons on Valentine's Day and the days leading to it, there is a need to appoint and set aside a date for them to celebrate, be comforted or, in certain desparate cases, be given the occasion to celebrate the illusion that they are being loved.

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Now, therefore, in consideration of the above premises, this Act is being enacted to provide as follows.

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SINGLE'S DAY ACT OF 2008

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Section 1. Short Title. - This Act shall be known as "The Single's Day Act of 2008".

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Section 2. Policy of the Law. - It is the policy of this law to make unattached, recently singled or perpetually single persons happy and intoxicated on February 13 so that they will become oblivious to the significance or happenings of the following day and protect them from the unnecessary anxiety and troubles ensuing from or related to Valentine's Day.

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Section 3. Scope of Law. - February 13 of each year is hereby appointed, set aside, and shall thereafter be known as Single's Day, a legal non-working holiday for all unattached, recently singled or perpetually single persons.

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Section 4. Benefits Under the Law. - All persons claiming benefits under this law shall obtain a certification from their city or municipality of residence, or their school's guidance counselor or workplace's human resources manager, or any duly licensed psychiatrist that: (1) he/she is not dating any person at least ten (10) days prior to February 14; (2) he/she was recently dumped by his/her girlfriend or boyfriend; (3) a relationship previously existing was terminated by legal proceedings (such as annulment, divorce, legal separation, etc.), or death or incapacity by the other person; (4) has never courted or never been courted by any person since birth; or (5) any circumstance or condition similar or analogous to the above. Provided that persons in virtual relationships such as chat/ym partners, textmates, phonepals and penpals may avail of the benefits herein as long as they have not ascertained the identity of their partner, textmate, phonepal or penpal and has not had an "EB" or "eyeball" meeting with the other party.

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All persons qualified under the preceding paragraph shall be entitled to the following rights and privileges:

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(a) To be absent with pay from the office, workplace or business or be absent without penalty from school;

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(b) If the person reports to the office, workplace or business, the right to be left alone without being asked whether he/she will have a date on Valentine's Day and how such day will be celebrated, whether such line of query is made seriously or in jest, and to be paid wages equivalent to 143% of his/her daily rate;

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If the student reports to school, the right not to be called for recitation or to answer seatworks or quizzes, or be compelled to participate in school programs or activities related to Valentine's Day;

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(c) A discount of thirty percent (30%) for all goods or services in all establishments that the person will buy or avail as a gift to himself/herself. Provided that if a person dines in a restaurant or watches a movie, concert or event alone, the establishment, its officers, agents, employees or representatives shall not make faces, throw knowing looks, sneer, jeer or otherwise act judgmentally or condescendingly but shall continue to act towards the person as if going out alone is a normal occurrence or matter.

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(d) To avail of the services of a prostitute or sex worker on such day without interference from agents of the law or fear of reprisal, punishment, or any form of social retribution;

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(e) To be absent from the office, workplace, business or school on the following day, February 14, on the ground of intoxication, fatigue or over-partying.

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Section 5. Duty of School or Employer. A school or employer shall provide free and mandatory psychiatric evaluation and matchmaking services to all persons who shall avail of the benefits under this law for five (5) consecutive years without hope of being hooked up or entering a relationship.

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Section 6. Penal Provisions. The following acts are prohibited and shall be punished by a fine of not less than Five Thousand Pesos (P 5,000.00) but not more than Fifty Thousand Pesos (P 50,000.00) or imprisonment of not less than ten (10) days but not more than thirty (30) days, at the discretion of the trial court:

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(a) Making it appear that he/she is entitled to the benefits of this law when he/she is in fact in a happy, serious or committed relationship;

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(b) Breaking up with, obtaining a divorce, annulment or legal separation, or killing a partner in order to avail of the benefits under this Act;

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(c) For schools, employers, places of business and establishment, any failure to extend the rights enumerated in Section 4 and 5 hereof; and

(d) Public exhibition or broadcast of romantic or romantic-comedy films such as Sleepless in Seattle, My Best Friend's Wedding, etc.

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Enacted this 14th day of February 2008.
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