Torn.

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This will be a very short journal entry. I just want to express here now that I am torn. I am feeling quite itchy for three hot men and I cannot decide which one of them is hottest and should have my full attention.

Who are they? They are actor Chris Evans (Fantastic Four, Not Another Teen Movie), male supermodel Chad White (Must Blow 36) and Playgirl centerfold Leighton Stultz.

This is not a typical problem for me. Ordinarily, I will just have one guy in mind and it will only be him for a considerable period of time (a week, a month, three days...). I will look at his pictures in my downloads album or paste his face on the wallpaper of my cellphones. But the past few days, I find myself wandering from Chris to Chad and then to Leighton.

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Of course, each guy has his own virtues. Chris is really as cute as a puppy, an All-American Ken doll. Leighton has such a hot and ripped body. I'd like to flick his stubble the first time I get my chance. And Chad has that intoxifying combination of boyish charm and a really manly physique. Which one to call my own? Really, which one?

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This "problem" is also contrived. It has no actual bearing to my real life. So why am I bothered? Why am I even writing about it? As if after I make a decision one of them will actually be my boyfriend. Fat chance. Haha.

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Precious Find: 25th Anniversary G.I. Joe Action Figures.

Got lucky today and was able to find the elusive 25th Anniversary GI Joe action figure box sets. Since it is Friday and there aren't a lot of things waiting for me at the office, I went to the gym in Greenhills after my morning hearing. Afterwards, I went to the adjacent shopping center to do some window shopping.

I heard that the commemorative GI Joes were released in the country last Tuesday. However, when I went to the mall Wednesday, they were already out of stock. In one store, I was able to find one last set but the box was already badly beaten and I decided not to buy it. Earlier today, I went to about four stores but came out disappointed after I was informed that it has sold out and another batch might come out in two months time. Might. In two months. Nyek.

Dejected, I gave it one last try and visited the store where I used to buy my Lord of the Rings action figures. I haven't been to this shop in quite a long time after having a falling out with the owner. Alas, to my joy and amazement, their supply arrived just last night and all six boxes are still with them.

I bought one GI Joe set and two Cobra sets (I intend to sell the extra box). This collectible edition is one of the best yet. The box is really admirable, made of really hard cardboard. On the back and side frames of the box is a collage of the most famous Joe and Cobra characters. There is also a star-shaped button in front. If one pushes it, the GI Joe theme song is played.

The GI Joe set includes: Duke, Scarlett, Snake Eyes, Roadblock and Gung Ho. The Cobra set is composed of: Cobra Trooper, Cobra Commander, Storm Shadow, Destro and Baroness.

GI Joes form my earliest toy collection. When I was in elementary school, my rewards for my high grades are these very playable action figures. After I hand over my report card to my mother, she would give me the money and I would run straight to the toy shop only just three blocks away from our house. I had about forty pieces of this line when I was a kid. I was a loner when I was a child I only had my GI Joes for company. I still have them with me but almost half of them are already broken.

-----oOo-----

Buying the GI Joes earlier today ticked off one item from my list of must-buys for this year. Another collectible item that I am diligently looking for is the Transformers Nike Free 7.0 shoes. These are Nike Free shoe models that are transformed into Autobot leader Optimus Prime and his Decepticon counterpart, Megatron. I have made inquiries with a number of Nike shops but they do not know yet if when they'll be getting their stocks. I saw some being sold in collectible toy shops but those were only counterfeit items.

-----oOo-----

Since I will be seeing Rachel later tonight I also bought a double dozen of Krispy Kreme donuts. I bought a dozen of original glazed and another dozen of various flavors and had them all mixed up in one box of 12 and two boxes of 6 each. Rachel loves the New York cheesecake variant. The first dozen is now being feasted upon by the people in the office. The first box of six will be for Rachel and the other box I will be bringing home to my beloved nephews.

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SpeciMen 09: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gael Garcia Bernal and Orlando Bloom.

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In my most recent edition of SpeciMen, I featured three of the most formidable talents in Hollywood today: Matt Damon, Christian Bale and Frodo himself, Elijah Wood. A look at the history of these three actors show that their talents were honed and their respective careers solidified even before the new millenium came along.

Bale was a young talent introduced by Steven Spielberg in the 1980s in the film Empire of the Sun. In the following decade, he returned to Hollywood with such projects as Little Women, Velvet Goldmine and American Psycho. Matt Damon made his mark with his Academy Award nominated performance in Good Will Hunting. In the same decade, he appeared in The Rainmaker, Saving Private Ryan, Dogma, Rounders and The Talented Mr. Ripley. And Elijah, of course, was an actor even before he reached puberty. His early films include The War, The Good Son, North and Forever Young. The Lord of the Rings came years and years after.

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This time, I am presenting three of the best actors who came into distinction in the new millenium. Incidentally, while all of them are major players in Hollywood not all of them are Americans. One of them is a veteran of Mexican TV and cinema. Another is a fresh recruit who sports a faint British accent. Only one is a full breed American actor. They are Gael Garcia Bernal, Orlando Bloom and Jake Gyllenhaal, respectively.

.Jake, the only American in the lot, quite literally has acting in his veins. His parents both work in Hollywood where his mother is a screenwriter. He also has a sister, Maggie, who is now an established and respected actress.

.Jake's early major films are Donnie Darko (2001) and Bubble Boy (same year). While the latter, a Disney production received mixed reviews from both critics and moviegoers, the latter slowly established a cult following. So it was that althought the latter film was geared towards a broader audience, name recognition was afforded by the darker Darko flick. But major box office success did not come the way of the young actor until he starred with Dennis Quaid and walked on thick ice in The Day After Tomorrow (2004).

His talent and bankability were easily recognized. Thus, in 2005, he appeared in a series of major movie prductions led by Brokeback Mountain, Proof and Jarhead. Jake was nominated for a Academy Award Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Brokeback.

Likewise, after his stirring performance in the cowboy drama, Jake Gyllenhaal was elevated to the status of gay icon. He has appeared on the cover of Out magazine. He likewise topped this year's list of men that gay men desire, according to the site AfterElton, which hosted the survey.

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As I earlier wrote, what I like best about Jake is his ability to jump from one role to the next with marked versatility. His characterization in Jarhead and Brokeback were with such contrast and finesse, one wouldn't think that they were made in the same year. If the same projects were given to a lesser actor, we viewers would have suffered through seeing the same character appear in two films of entirely different genre. It was a tough feat that wasn't easy for a young actor to pull through. For that alone, Jake deserves the recognition he is now receiving in the movie industry.

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Without my meaning it, it has turned out Gael Garcia Bernal is one my most viewed actor in terms of movies made and films I actually saw. I have seen most of his films, from Y Tu Mama Tambien to Babel.

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I remember first seeing him in Y Tu Mama Tambien, I did not like the film but I was intrigued with the rawness of the performance that Gael poured into his role. I did not know him at all then so I had to wait until the credits began to roll before I knew his name. After that, I tried to catch El Crimen De Padre Amaro when it was shown on limited release in Philippine theaters. After seeing his performances in these Spanish-language films, I became a fan of this young talent.

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Still, the best was yet to come with Gael. He surpassed his earlier performances with his turn as revolutionary leader Che Guevara in The Motorcycle Diaries and as the cross-dressing Angel in Bad Education.

The mark of Gael's craft is that each of his performance is unique. He is like a chameleon, but unlike this reptile the actor is not a bore to watch. I only consider one other such actor who is able to climb into the skin of his character and make himself invisible to the audience: Anthony Hopkins. If Gael has such depth in characterization and talent as Sir Anthony, I do not think he needs any other compliment. Such comparison ---fully deserved--- is enough to give longevity in his career as well as an Oscar fully assured along the way.

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While Jake and Gael are both stars in the strict criteria of Hollywood stardom, no one reached the height of fame and stardom as suddenly as Orlando Bloom. While he may have appeared forgetably in his first major film project (Blackhawk Down), Orly was an instant superstar in his next film, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

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By any reckoning, LOTR is an ensemble movie. It included the veteran and venerable Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Liv Tyler and Cate Blanchett in its cast. As such, it is quite difficult for one actor to get all the acclaim and attention. Either way, the success or failure of the film could not be attributed to any one actor. And that was exactly how I personally took it. I loved the film and I thought the cast did an exceptional job.

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But that was not how the rest of the world took it. Over and above the teary eyes of McKellen, the savy action of Mortensen or Wood pouring out every acting trick that he has learned since he was seven or eight years old, moviegoers everywhere singled out one actor: Orlando Bloom.

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'Orlando who?' was my first reaction. Legolas, they say. And he was also an early casualty in Blackhawk Down, falling wrongly from the helicopter and injuring (or killing) himself. Apparently, at about the same time that I began my collection of LOTR movie merchandise and action figures, others were establishing clubs in honor of the lanky actor and inducting screaming teenage girls into their organizations.
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Considering the public's reception of Orly (like his fans, I also call him that), it was not difficult for him to find projects --- especially those whose sole purpose is earn money and sell popcorn along the way. Thus, even if Return of the King, the last of the trilogy, had not been released, he has also appeared opposite Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean and was already cast alongside Brad Pitt and Eric Bana in Troy.

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All of the three LOTR movies, Troy and the three Pirates films that followed were certified blockbuster hits. Ticket sales within and outside the United States reached more than a hundred million dollars. If ever there was one bankable and reliable actor, it was Bloom. But there are doubts on whether he deserves the title.

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Yes, those seven films alone grossed more than a billion dollars but he played second banana in those films --to Pitt, Depp and an old dead named JRR Tolkien. And how much did Ned Kelly, The Calcium Kid and Kingdom of Heaven ---Orly's vehicle movies--- earned? They fared so poorly no one wanted to do the math.

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Still, I do not see Orly exiting the movie business anytime soon. He will be there as one of the movie industry's biggest stars. After Depp, Pitt and Tom Cruise.

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Jake, Gael and Orly tread different paths in their acting careers. So far, each almost in the seventh year of their careers, these paths have not crossed. And considering their film choices, such is unlikely (but less unlikely in the case of Jake and Orly or Jake and Gael) in the near future. Nevertheless, the two factors that unite them are the excellence with which they have rendered their roles and the professionalism that has characterized their practice.

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And, of couse, also the fact that they are now inducted in my elite SpeciMen list and that I am one of their biggest admirers.

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Rumour Has It....

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I was able to wake up early Tuesday and beat the color-coding ban. I went to the gym in the morning, before my board meeting at 10 am, and again in the evening. While doing my brisk walking on the treadmill that night, I watched Rumour Has It, a comedy starring three of my favorite actors --- Jennifer Aniston (To Bi For 07), Kevin Costner (SpeciMen 05) and Mark Ruffalo. I have only seen this movie in parts over cable TV. This time I caught the latter 40 minutes or so of the film until the end. It is a pretty decent comedy. Worth a viewer's time if one only wants to unwind.

My favorite portion of the half of the film that I saw is the penultimate scene wherein Aniston asks her father why they are so different. Why she drove so recklessly while he drove slowly and with such care. He answered that he was only driving so slowly because she was in the car with him. I am not saying that this dialogue is new or profound but only that at that moment it struck a familiar chord in me. The statement is true, at least for me too. When I am alone in my car or merely with friends, I drive like mad, trying to cut into every vehicle and using each tiny gap to overtake other cars. But when I have my mother or my nephews or Rachel in the car, I am very deliberate, careful and conscious. I have observed this in myself a number of times.

I also caught a new hottie in this film. His name is Mike Vogel and he plays Costner's son in the film. He appears in only one scene wherein he tries to hit on Aniston and then talks to his father. I searched Google earlier today for his photos and imdb for his screen credits. He has also made a film with Adam Brody (Must Blow 26, Men of 2005, Men of 2006), titled Grind.

-----oOo-----

I forgot to mention in my Monday blog (Weekend Review) that last Saturday we also caught the encore performance of American Idol alumnus Elliot Yamin in his mall tour. He is in the country for ten days to promote his first album. I was expecting his voice to be really powerful, as he exhibited during the AI competition. However, when I heard him sing live I thought his voice was strained. It must be because of the tour and the imperative to perform almost daily.

-----oOo-----

While driving to work today I realized that I have not jacked off or had sex for at least a week now. The last time, apparently, was last Tuesday with Jersey. This must be a new personal record. To reward myself, I am posting a new Julian of the Day. There is nothing like him to hike my sex drive. Ha ha ha.

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Must Blow 38: Chris Evans.

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Chris Evans is one of the first guys to be featured in this blog. I previously named him as one of the Men of 2005 (March 01, 2006) and a member of the first SpeciMen inductees (July 27, 2006). I was thinking earlier that I did not expect to see him back in my personal journal so soon but seeing the dates, I am surprised that Chris has not been promoted in my blog for more than a year. It seems to me that I wrote those entries just a forthnight ago.

In my earlier SpeciMen write-up, I gushed about how perfect Chris was in the role of Human Torch in the movie Fantastic Four. I still stand by that statement. That remains true notwithstanding the fact that in the second installment of the movie franchise, he was given less exposure. I was quite disappointed with that decision by the producers (and the director and screenwriter, if they have such substantial degree of responsibility for the decision). Chris Evans as Human Torch was the best thing about the first movie. One would think that the people behind the movie would exploit it for the purpose of the second film. Did not happen. The producer's idea of a better sequel was reduced face time with its most watchable star and more agony with such a poor script.

Still, sincere and heartfelt thank you notes should be given to the casting people of Fantastic Four. With the project, Chris Evans was given an opportunity to display his talent, prove that he is an actor who can be taken seriously, and that he is ready to play in the big league. Before suiting up as Johnny Storm and his alter ego, Evans' only big screen credits were appearing in such juvenile comedies as The Perfect Score and Not Another Teen Movie. These two were enjoyable movies. Still, they are hardly the kind of films upon which one can build his career.

After the unexpected success of Fantastic Four, Evans appeared in a series of dramas such as Fierce People and London. This year, he starred in Sunshine and was the voice of Casey in the screen adaptation of TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). His most anticipated project, The Nanny Diaries will be shown later this year.

The only problem I have about Evans is whether I prefer to see him clothed or shirtless. (The best answer, of course, is NAKED.) He looks great either way, as his suited-up appearance in this year's GQ and his often shirtless appearance in his films attest. Evans has one of the most handsome faces in Hollywood today that rendering him shirtless seems such an awful distraction. On the other hand, his rich chest hair that trails down to his stomach and pubic area is one of the sexiest sets I have ever seen. It is a shame to keep this asset hidden by unnecessary clothing.

Other than the above quandary ---which is a win-win situation anyway--- I have no other issue with Mr. Evans. I have never read any ill report about him. Not from the movie press. Not from bloggers. Not even from the many women who must have stripped themselves bare in the doorstep of this delicious man candy. (Which suddenly brings up another issue: So does that mean there is no sex video hidden somewhere? Please, please, let there be a clip, at least.) And I have only read kind words from his co-stars, which means that he is a true professional on the set.

My only prayer for Evans now is that he be blessed with longevity in his career. The way he is going, it is the only thing that I think he needs right now. He is a fine actor already and only the plenitude of good projects can hone him into a better actor, maybe even one of the best of his generation.

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Weekend Review.

Delio. My weekends officially start in the evening of Friday, on the very moment that I step out of the office building to join my friends, meet whomever I am meeting, go to the gym, or on rarely sad occasions, go straight home.

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Last Friday, while waiting for my friends to get to the city for our dinner, I went to the gym. After my workout, while inside the dressing room, I learned an important fact about Delio. He is a chef-caterer. I do not know if this is his full time job or something that he just does on the side --whether out of hobby or to be able to augment his income. I just heard it when he was having a conversation with an old fat gay guy (a member of the gym's Gay Mafia, more on this in a separate blog). They were talking to each other while they were about fifteen feet apart so it was no trouble for either of us. Delio and GM1 (gay mafia 1) are not really friends, not even acquaintances, I think. GM1 was just making conversations. I observed that it wasn't just me listening to the conversation. I have previously observed from the glances thrown around the locker room and the gym that a lot of us are actually interested in Delio.

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Afterwards, I joined my friends in a dinner in a very trendy Japanese restaurant, Kaiseku, and thereafter ordered coffee parfait in another Japanese establishment, UCC. Arrived home at around 2 a.m.

-----oOo-----

Frustration. Saturday, after my meeting in the office, Quincy picked me up. We went to Glorietta, did some window shopping and eventually bought a few items. I bought a new Speedo trunks, which I will be wearing when I attend aquatic aerobics in the gym.

We also went to the big Nike shop (I don't remember if it is a Stadium or Park). I was supposed to buy an Air Force 1 Supreme, Lebron James special limited edition (photo above) that I have been saving and salivating for in the last two weeks. Alas, to my dismay, frustration and disappointment, it has run out of stock. I felt really, reaalllly bad. The item was available only in this shop (I have searched in other shops, boutiques, malls) and someone beat me to it. I have a small collection of rubber shoes and sneakers (about 30 pairs) and I was looking forward to adding it to my collection. I have already convinced myself that although I have bought six pairs earlier this year, this is the one shoe that matters for this year and will place my collection to new heights. Quincy tried to console me, telling me that he will also look for one for me. Still, until today, I feel bad about missing the shoe.

While in the store, we saw another professional basketball player, Mark Cardona, who plays for another team. Quincy and MacMac had a little chat. They know each other, having played opposite each other since their college days and belonging to rival teams. I just now remember that this is the second time that we chanced upon MacMac, the first time was outside Powerbooks also in that same shopping complex.

I stayed away from Quincy and MacMac. We were not introduced. But every now and then, I would steal glances at the latter. I admired his hair and his boyish looks. He was there with either a girlfriend or a wife, a pretty chinita.

On an elevator up, I saw Jill and Nova, G's very close friends, riding the downward elevator. I looked away from their direction and started a conversation with Quincy. I did not want to talk to them. I also hoped that they did not see me with Quincy. They might even know each other, coming from the same college. But the one thing I really tried to avoid that night was seeing G. These three always watch a movie or have dinner together. However, after we have passed each other and I looked back, G was not with them.

-----oOo-----

Imperative! I bought an original DVD copy of Borat while Quincy and I were in the mall. Sunday, Quincy was alone in his house (his parents and sister went out of town) and I dropped by. We just watched the DVD. We both missed the movie when it was shown in the theaters and we were both eager to see it. We wanted to know what the buzz was about. And how it won such a number of awards.

We both laughed hysterically at the irreverent jokes and situations in Borat. I don't think I have been so entertained since I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. This is definitely one of the best comedies in the last two years. It has also turned into a blessing that we did not see the movie in the theater. Buying the DVD, we got to see and enjoy the extras or deleted scenes (by orders of the censors of Kazakhstan).

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The Game of Memory.

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I was caught in heavy traffic again this morning. It has been that way in the last two days.

For some reason during the traffic, I thought of G. An incident that happened during our first Christmas came into mind while I was in the car. It was thus ---

It was already between midnight and one o'clock in the morning and most of the people in the party have surrendered to the spirit of booze. We have a classmate, T, who is my friend but not G's. T has a crush on another classmate, C. But C has a crush on G.

We were in the sala of T's house, trying to swap stories in spite of the alcohol that has taken its hold of all of us. There must have been around eight of us. The others were scattered in the dining room, pool room and reception area. Out of the blue, T said out loud to G 'C likes you and you like him back'. The remark took me by surprise and I looked around to see who else heard it. Apparently, aside from T and G, it was only Carrie (another classmante and my friend but not G's) and myself who were sober enough to take it in. Thank God.

But it was the way G reacted that gave me the utmost surprise that drunken Christmas party. She quickly shouted back at G, as if she had long been waiting for an occasion to spill it out, No! I like Cal! (referring to me, of course)'. It was a pleasant surprise, G finally declaring her feelings for me. However, Carrie and I knew that we had to separate T and G in order to avert further trouble. So Carrie took T to her room while I led G to play with the shitzu on the porch. I calmed G, told her not to mind what T said. She was easily calmed.

After about a few minutes, G left the party. We came in together in her car earlier that night but I did not leave with her. I said I had to talk to T. I asked Jill, G's best friend to ride with her.

It did not need any further talk on my part for T to realize her folly. Carrie easily talked some sense into her. We also both pointed out that T owed G an apology. Even if it was a party held by our class, G was still a guest in T's house who deserved to be treated well by her host.

T was distraught by the event. It was left for Carrie and myself to usher our fellow classmates as they said their goodbyes. We were also the ones who cleaned up the mess of cups, plates,unfinished food and empty bottles in every nook and corner of T's place. We finished at around 3 a.m. and then took a nap on separate sofas.

After breakfast, the three of us went to G's house, a mere fifteen minutes drive that morning. I rang the bell. It was G who opened the gate. She recognized T's car. There was an instant smile across her face. I do not know if it was the sight of me, the memory of the night before that I evoked, or the meaning she culled from the fact that T is now parked in front of her house. I gave G a peck on the cheek and she also kissed me back.

I asked her to accompany me to the bathroom. I needed to pee. On the way, I explained to her the purpose of our visit. When we got out, apologies and pardons were exchanged between the two women and all ended well.

In the long run, the reconciliation was more on the surface and more for the purpose of being able to appear civil. I think T and G never truly forgave each other. They never became friends. It was never openly discussed between us (as a lot of things were never openly discussed) but I think one of the reasons G and I were never able to bring our relationship to a higher level was because I kept my friendship with Carrie and T. I was somehow able to penetrate and be part of G's friends but she never put an effort to be friends with mine. And whenever G and I had an issue, I could never confide with Jill. I knew her loyalty was with G. I had to seek out to Carrie and T to listen to my complaints.

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-----oOo----

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I just had to put in pictures of Rachel Bilson in this blog. Her perkiness, as well as the love-hate relationship of Seth and Summer in The OC, remind me of G and our own problematic relationship.

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More on Delio.

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Last Monday, I had my very first conversation with Delio (previously nicknamed Roman, and later briefly as Eagle in this blog). We wrapped up our respective gym routines at about the same time so we were in the changing room simultaneously. [Purely coincidental, I did not time my routine with his. I never did.] In our gym, all sorts of toiletries and grooming products are available to be shared by club members. The foot powder was not in its usual place so I looked around the locker room to find out who was using it. It was being used by Delio.

I just stood behind Delio, waiting for him to be done with the foot powder. I observed that he had finished with his right foot, had put in his socks and shoes and was already in the act of tying his lace. It didn't last longer than ten seconds when he looked around my way. He must have felt my shadow over his shoulder.

He asked me. Are you gonna use it too?

Ya. That was all I could manage to get out from my throat. Just one syllable in the first and only conversation with my gym crush.

After that, Delio put some powder on his left foot and then handed the plastic bottle to me with a brief smile and a nod.

Thanks. I nodded back and then turned to go near my own locker. And that was it.

I noticed that in the last few days Delio has been going to the gym earlier and leaving much later than usual. He must be spending about three hours per night now. I only do an hour and forty five minutes to two hours per night. Also, he is dressing "butch-er" and "straight-er" lately. Sometimes, when I see how he is dressed I am even left to reconsider my initial estimate that Delio is gay. He even looks straight sometimes, which is actually more to my liking. I especially liked what he wore last Monday. His pants was a fusion of military and cargo pants. He paired it with a really fit and slim cream colored t-shirt and string up boots. He looked like a cadet.

Now that Delio has decided to be straight, whenever I look at him (as I often do to study the glisten of sweat on his bare shoulders and the concentration on his eyes as he rode the stationary bicycle or lifted some weights) I am reminded of Jonathan Rhys Meyers. There is a striking resemblance. With more effort that he has put in his training, Delio is much slimmer than when I first saw him. Their most stiking similarities are their jaws and eyebrows.

-----oOo-----

Imperative! Being played heavily right now in my car, computer and CD player is Maroon 5's It Won't Be Soon Before Long. I bought the CD a few days ago and now play it about four times in one day. First, in the car during my trip to the office or wherever. Second, at work in my PC. And two more times at night during my drive home. My favorite tracks are Makes Me Wonder (which is really the reason why I bought the CD. I can't get the chorus "Anymore, anymore!" out of my mind), Nothing Lasts Forever (favorite line: you show up but you're not there) and Wake Up Call. The thirteen tracks almost sound like one another, a certain chord is used uniformly in the songs. Still, all the songs are easy on the ears. I sometimes dance in my car during traffic.

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Where I Got My Hickey.

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The first thing I noticed when I faced the mirror this morning was the hickey on the left hand side of my neck. The opening sentence is quite innacurate because when one looks more closely, it is not just one hickey but a string of three hickeys ---one lip mark next to the other forming a chain of deep red marks. One may not even think that these were made by kissing or sucking lips. One would have thought that I was assaulted the previous night.

The problem, of course ---as one often has when confronted with this situation--- was how to hide the hickey. It is a working day today, not to mention that I have a court hearing this morning and one of the opposing counsel's is a friend's girlfriend and who has also turned out to be my own friend. What if she notices? It is certain to hit the rumor mill. And what if anyone else at work recognizes the mark? People will whisper about it. And if one finds the courage to ask or tease me about it, I have no witty retort in mind.

I bought a Nike Golf jacket more than two weeks ago in anticipation of the rainy season. But it hasn't rained since then so it just hung idly in my car, waiting for an occasion for its use. Finally, I have found reason to wear it today. Not only due to the hickey but also because it rained continuously last night until early today. Sometimes, even the weather cooperates when we are in misery.

The hickey problem was solved. The jacket closes on the neck just right. It does not give the impression that I am trying to hide anything.

Everytime I go to the men's room, though, I check whether the mark has waned. If so, I will go to the gym later tonight.

How did I get the hickey and who gave it to me? I'll answer the second question first: Jersey. I sent him an SMS a little before noon yesterday asking if we could meet. I wanted to watch 1408 (featuring John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson) and I said I thought I would ask him. He readily agreed. We met in a mall that was very convenient for our purposes. First, it was near where we would be coming from (me from my meeting and he from school). Second, the mall is reputable and not sleazy. And third, although it offers the luxuries of (1) and (2), there is minimum likelihood that we would be seen by our friends. We met at 4:00 pm and watched the 5:35 showing.

It was cold in the theater and there must have been no more than fifty people in it. The viewers were scattered evenly inside --- each group to their own illusion of privacy. I forgot to bring my jacket and Jersey (who had the mind to bring his own) was kind enough to keep me warm by sitting shoulder to shoulder with me. Sometimes, when I shiver, he even held my hand and embraced me. [Writing about it now, it is sooo gay.]

After we were done with our snacks --we both took out Big Mac meals, I saw to it that we were on the same page by reaching my right hand over to his crotch. When I tried to put my hand inside his brief, he was resistant at first. But when he looked around the theater and was assured that no one could fathom what we were doing, he undid his belt and fly. Thank god for low rise jeans. It provided me easy access. I rubbed his cock until it was hard and it did not take much for Jersey to respond. Soon, I was stroking it while trying to keep pace with John Cusack's troubles on the big screen. I really wanted to go down on Jersey and give him fellatio but everytime I jerked him faster he would steady my hand and say later. Later it is.

We went straight from the cinema to his condominium unit. We had sex but I do not want to detail it now as it will be another long entry. What irritated me last night was that during the sex, Jersey appeared to be in a hurry. Nothing special happened. Jersey was trying hard to reach orgasm as quickly as he could and also helping me cum as soon as possible. He was in quite a hurry. All the time, his cell phone was beeping to announce incoming text messages. At least two times, his cell phone rang. Is this guy expecting his girlfriend? Is he expecting someone else? To his credit, he did not pick up the phone while we were in the middle of things but the immediately after he came, he made a grab for his phones to check his messages.

Two remarkable things about the encounter, though. First, he still moaned as loudly and sincerely as he did the first time we went to bed (See entry entitled Friday). He kept saying, great, you're great. And second, we orgasmed simultaneously. It is the very first time that it has happened to me. Usually, my partner will cum first and then I will follow more than five or ten minutes later.

Jersey asked me to join him for dinner that same night. It appeared that he was in such a hurry because he was supposed to join his friends for dinner. But one or so of the text messages he just opened informed him that his friends have all gone home. He was dining alone. He said that almost with fear in his voice.

I begged off. I told him that maybe we can have the dinner the next time. I told him I had my own dinner plan with friends (though it was already past 10 pm) although there was no such sked. In truth, I just don't eat dinner and I was in no mood to watch him eat.

When I said "next time", Jersey immediately answered in a sad voice, If there is a next time. He must have seen my facial expression after we came and he jumped to his phone. I remained on the bed, my head propped on pillows and the headboard of his familiarly comforting bed, with an expression of dissatisfaction. I must have been very transparent. After all, the sex lasted for less than thirty minutes (Mari Mar was on before and after we did the deed).

He read me right. I was disappointed with the sex last night. There were a lot of things and positions I wanted us to try but his only concern was how to get off quickly --- a stark contrast to how we spent our first time together. I thought we could raise the level, try some new things --without crossing to bizaare practices--- but he did not gave that any opportunity. I was really dissatisfied. And I was also thinking, I don't want to see this guy again. .

And so while Jersey was fiddling with his phone, scratching his head, drying himself with the towel, putting on the same underwear that is stained by his sweat and mine and putting on his low rise jeans, I watched him intently. I tried to take it all in. The memory of his face. The details of his body. The cadence of his movements. I was trying to take it all in. Because I have decided that I will never see him again.

It actually felt good afterwards that Jersey immediately realized that I do not intend to see him again. It gives me a sense of decency and no guilt at all.

Note: Featured photos are those of model-porn fixture Aaron Loftin.

Copy and related rights to photographs and digital images appearing herein pertain to their respective authors, photographers and copyright owners. No commercial purpose or financial gain is intended by their inclusion in this blog. All accompanying texts are protected by copyright and related intellectual property laws in favor of saturdayconfessions.

2007 Emmy Winners and Losers.

The Emmy Awards was held today. As my favorite shows for this year, led by Brothers and Sisters, are not big contenders, I had no inclination to stay home and watch it. Besides, it is being hosted by Ryan Seacrest. I do not even like him in American Idol so fat chance that I would be watching him in another show.

But Yahoo and MSN provided instant updates on who won in the various categories. I especially congratulate Sally Field (Brothers and Sisters) who won as Best Lead Actress in a Drama Series and Katharine Heigl (Grey's Anatomy, To Bi For 06) who took home the trophy for Best Supporting Actress in the same genre. They very much deserved their awards. I have not seen the performances of the other lead actresses but I can very well say ---as I faithfully follow the first season of Brothers and Sisters on TV--- that Field did an exceptional job in the role of Nora.

On the other hand, I really do think that episode in and out, Heigl and Patrick Dempsey give the best performances in Grey. The other members of the cast are just doing too much for their characters when something less would have sufficed, as demanded by their characters and the script.

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Two of my favorite comedy shows were up for Outstanding Comedy. Though Ugly Betty lost, America Ferrera's performance was recognized as Best Lead Actress in a Comedy. On the other hand, I think Two and a Half Men went home empty handed.

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I was also able to see some red carpet photos. I think Debra Messing (Will and Grace, To Bi For 20), in her white gown with black combination, looked best among the women. Among the men, Milo Ventigmilia (Heroes) definitely stood out. He even looked like he was up for an award (which I don't think he was).

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Copy and related rights to photographs and digital images appearing herein pertain to their respective authors, photographers and copyright owners. No commercial purpose or financial gain is intended by their inclusion in this blog. All accompanying texts are protected by copyright and related intellectual property laws in favor of saturdayconfessions.

Must Blow 37: Adrian Pasdar.

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Merely following my type, I should be writing about Milo Ventimiglia today. About how his boyish looks appeal to me. How he reminds me of the high school boys I longed for during my years of puberty. How his dark eyes draw me to the mysteries that are deep within his being. Yet, everytime I watch Heroes (And I don't watch it at all, if I must say. I just chance upon it when I channel surf or bear with it whenever I wait for the next show.), my eyes rest not on the sweet face of Peter Petrelli but on the angular face of his older brother, Nathan Petrelli.

Adrian Pasdar is the actor who plays the role of the older superpowered Petrelli. And he is the primary reason why I sometimes stay to watch Heroes for five minutes or more. Pasdar has the screen presence to draw you to him. And he also looks good in a suit. A lot of people may find my next statement controversial but he is the nearest rival George Clooney could have if a contest entitled "Who Looks Best in a Suit" is held. His role in the TV show required Pasdar to wear a suit in almost every shot and he always looked debonaire in it.

With the unquestionable success of Heroes, Pasdar is now reaping the fruits of his years and years of toil in the acting business. Now he is playing a major role in a major TV show (and also Emmy nominated this year for Outstanding Drama). Now, not only is his face recognizable to people they also remember his corresponding name. Now people google for stories and pictures of him (as I did before writing this entry). I remember Pasdar from an older TV show (Profit, in which he played the lead character) and a series of appearances in Desperate Housewives (in which he was hired by Gabrielle Solis to be her husband's lawyer in a criminal case). And though his face and masculine voice made some impression on me, I never got his name (I even thought he was Chris Meloni, another seasoned TV actor). Not until this new show that has become a phenomenon.

The sad fact is that although I am gratified seeing Pasdar on the small screen, I cannot stand watching his show. I have tried to watch Heroes in full for a number of times but it could not hold my attention or interest during the full hour that it is shown. I always had to change channel midway through the show. Sometimes I forget to turn the channel back. I really find the pace so slow. Sometimes, it seems like the first half hour is used as a lengthy foreshadowing to the final ten minutes. Sometimes, the whole episode is used as a mere prologue to the next episode. I cannot bear with it. Especially after seasons and seasons of enjoying the fast pace of ER, The West Wing and 24.

Anyway, wherever I turn people are still saying that Heroes is a good show and I must watch it. For the sake of Nathan and Peter Petrelli, I have resolved to give the show another chance. Presently, I am waiting for the release of the first season in DVD. I will watch the show on my own pace. Maybe, without commercial breaks, the show will seem faster. Maybe then I will enjoy it not just because of Pasdar (and Ventimiglia) but also because of the storyline.

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As I said earlier, I googled for Pasdar's pictures before writing this blog. I found a couple of beefcake pictures from the 1980s. This is my favorite shirtless photo.

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Speaking of beefcake and racy photos, I chanced upon this Calvin Klein ad. I do not know when it came out (I only saw it today on the web) or what it advertises (perfume or jeans?) but I reckon that it must have stirred some controversy when it was released. A man's bare ass being kissed by a woman. It is hard to look away from that image. And even if you are the kind of person who is offended or disgusted by such kind of images, the sight of it will certainly leave an impression on you.

For the sole reason that it leaves an impression and evokes a variety of reactions (lust, hate, disgust, love, longing, despair) from its viewers, I consider it a very effective ad. Calvin Klein surely knows how to stir his market and make it broader.

Copy and related rights to photographs and digital images appearing herein pertain to their respective authors, photographers and copyright owners. No commercial purpose or financial gain is intended by their inclusion in this blog. All accompanying texts are protected by copyright and related intellectual property laws in favor of saturdayconfessions.

Rachel is Back.
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Rachel Bilson (Girlfriend/To Bi For 01) is back as my screensaver (photo above). My computer crashed a few months back and it had to undergo reformatting. I lost my folder of Rachel's photos. I had to google during my free time this week in order to reconstitute the portfolio.

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I miss this gal dearly. I am eagerly anticipating her next project whether on TV or in the big screen. Adam Brody (Must Blow 28), her former boyfriend, has successfully crossed over to the movies with his brief appearance in Mr. & Mrs. Smith and then topbilling In the Land of Women. There is talk that Rachel will play the role of Wonder Woman in its upcoming movie adoptation. Since Rachel had to don the WW costume in The O.C. in order to gratify Seth Cohen (played by Brody), it is to be expected that Rachel's name will be thrown around in connection with the project. But I don't think she will get the part. It will take more than a thousand fanboys to convince the world that this petite actress has it to help people in distress. But a Ms. Vixen movie will certainly be a blockbuster.

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By the way, Rachel fills in for my previous screensaver model, Jessica Alba (To Bi For 12) also known to my frends as "my wife":

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